Memories
by wildhqrts
Summary: Gamora just wants the memories from her old self back, Peter is just there to make her feel better. A starmora oneshot.


On the cliff of Vormir, stood Thanos peering down at the bottom, behind him, stood his adopted daughter Gamora. Where they had just been told that the purple torture machine needs to sacrifice something he loves, in order to get the Soul Stone. Gamora laughed, out of relief for the sake of the universe, "All my life, I dreamed of a day, a moment, when you got what you deserved.

"I was so disappointed." She spoke quietly, with her voice breaking. He's not going to win. She would think.

"But now-" She paused, walking to the to the other side of him, as the snow fell on too of her majenta hair.

Her jacket wasn't warm enough, the freezing air hit her face and arms, but she didn't care, Thanos is going to lose, the universe is safe.

"-you kill, and torture. And you call it mercy. The universe has judged you." She looked up at him, although he still wasn't facing her "You asked it for a prize, and it told you no."

"You failed. And do you wanna know why? Because you love nothing, no one." She waited, for a response, for the ability to leave. To find her sister, her family. And the love of her life.

Finally, he turned around, with a frown and a single tear running down his purple face.

This was the first time she had seen him cry.

"Really? Tears" it truly is pathetic, that he's crying because he lost a game, a game he created, and one that no one was willing to play. She was a pawn, and now she's free.

"They're not for him." The stone keeper told her.

She turned to him, her sad and relieved smile slowly wiped off of her face. She was going to die.

She turned back to face her so called father, hoping that red skull was lying. She had a pleading and disbelieving look on her face. She didn't think even the Mad Titan could go this far.

But he is.

"No." She backed away, as he came closer. "This isn't love."

"I ignored my destiny once, I cannot do that again, even for you." He hissed, with a hint of pain in his voice.

She couldn't let him win, if the deadliest woman in the galaxy was going to die, it sure as hell won't be for the soul stone, let alone Thanos. She had to do the only thing she could.

The mini-sword, Thanos had given her when she was a little girl. She took it out in front of him, showing that she wasn't going to die for him. She tried to stab herself, only for it to turn to bubbles.

Her hands shook, not because she was scared-no, it was cold, so so cold, yeah-that's it.

She wanted to run, run away so he could lose the game, but she was frozen, and she has no idea what's real or fake. I'm going to die. He's going to win.

"I'm sorry, little one." He grabbed her arm. This cannot be happening. She tried to fight her way out of his grasp, punching his arm.

He can't win. He can't.

"No!" She yelled. We're getting closer to the edge.

And then she was falling. This is it. She reached her hand out, hoping to grab onto the rocks of the cliff, but she couldn't.

"I love you, more than anything."

"I love you too."

And then, she was gone.

And he was one step closer to winning the game.

Gamora woke up with a scream. Her head was sweaty, she was hot, and she was scared.

"Gamora? What happened?" Peter rushed in. Gamora felt terrible that he and her other self had loved each other, and that she wasn't the same.

But she was focusing on what just happened. Her dream started to fade away. She tried to grasp it, bring it back into her mind, but it was gone.

"I-I don't know." She told him, confused. "I think-it was a memory-from the old-newer me...? But I can't remember what it was." She told him truthfully.

"That's okay."

"It's not!" She snapped, she got out of bed and started to pace. "You two-we were in love, but now-we don't have that anymore, because I can't fucking remember a goddamn thing!" She yelled.

"Gamora-"

"How?" She asked, exasperated. "How are things going to work? I'm not the same, why do you still care for me? I'm not the one you loved-"

"You are!"

Gamora tilted her head, confused.

"Look, obviously things aren't going to be the same." He got up and walked towards her. "But this Gamora, the one i'm talking to right now, is the one I fell in love with 5 years ago. I'm not asking you to feel the same, or even consider it, but, you need to understand that." He cupped her face.

He tried to hide it, but a sad expression flashed across his face, remembering this Gamora wasn't good with affection. He removed his hands.

Gamora weakly smiled, and put his hands back on her face.

After a few moments, of staring, Peter finally said, "I'm gonna head back to bed, if you need anything let me know." He kissed her head forehead, and began to walk out of her room.

Gamora watched as he walked away, she didn't realize that maybe she needed him right now until he was at her doorway.

"Peter wait." She called out.

The strawberry blonde turned back to look at her, he raised his brow, signaling her to go on.

"Can you stay with me? Please?"

"Of course." Gamora climbed into bed, and Peter grabbed a blanket and sat on the chair in the corner of her room.

"Peter." She said quietly, motioning her head towards the empty space next to her.

Peter raised his brow again. "You want me too-"

"Please. I think-it's what I would've wanted." It was a little weird talking about herself like she was someone else, even if she was, but maybe she was growing close to the Star-Lord.

Peter walked over, and laid next to her.

Gamora decided to rest her head on his shoulder. "Is this too much? If you want me to move-"

"No, this is okay."

The next morning, she wasn't scared like most. She didn't have a nightmare, she actually slept. For the first time in months.

He was doing so much for her and he didn't even know it.

And in return, all he got was the girl he loves, didn't love him back. The girl he knew, wasn't the same. And the girl who was almost never scared, and was doing fine, is now terrified, and a broken.

She needed him, then and now. She had learned that, no matter what version of herself she is, she will always need Peter Quill in her life.

So when she woke up and Peter wasn't there she was terrified.

In that moment she knew she'd fucked up. You scared him away, nice going.

She didn't have time for more self deprecating thoughts, because there was a soft knock on her door.

She jumped, she knew that it must of been one of the other guardians, but the thought of someone there to try and harm her.

"Gamora? It's Peter. I have breakfast."

Relief washed over the green girl, as she slowly got up and opened her door.

Peter smiled, with a bowl of...well she didn't know what it was, but it did look good. "Sorry I uh-sorta left you, but I wanted to make you breakfast."

"What is-"

"Its called cereal, Terran food, its the only thing I knew how to make before I came up here."

"Did I like it?"

"You loved it."

Gamora took the bowl from Peters hands. She looked at it, and then up at him. "This is Terran food? How did you-"

"Yondu used to get it for me, I don't know how. I used to be scared to go back to earth, but Stark's funeral, and you. I had to." He simply smiled.

Gamora returned that smile, hesitantly picking up the spoon and scooping up the cereal.

It was delicious. She had now known why she had loved it so much.

A memory of herself and Peter sitting at the table, smiling and laughing about something the other said, flashed in her mind, but left in a split second.

"You okay?" Peter asked, taking notice of the pause and look of confusion.

"Yeah-yeah I think so."

A few days later, Gamora noticed that Peter peered among the galaxy, and listening to something called a zune.

Did she like it? Whatever he was listening to?

Instead of saying anything, all she did was sit next to him, causing him to take off, what he called headphones.

"Do you want to listen?" He asked.

She nodded, as he placed the headphones on her head.

The music filler her ears. The melody is pleasant.

The memory of her and Peter, in this exact same situation.

She wasn't going to let it escape her mind this time.

She was holding onto it, she was going to remember, it doesn't matter to her if it's impossible or not.

She had to remember, for herself, Nebula, Rocket, Drax, Mantis, Groot, bur most importantly Peter.

But just like that, it slipped away again. Trying to ease it back into her mind, but it seemed like it was running at such speed that she couldn't catch it.

"Damn it." She whispered angrily.

"Is...everything okay?"

"Yeah, no I'm fine."

This time, Gamora decided to leave Peter alone, looking at the beautiful galaxy in front of her.

However, even when Gamora had to give Peter a break, he still ended up right by her side.

"What are you doing?" He knew that she wants to be alone, but he needs to make sure she's okay, what else is he supposed to do?

"Giving you your space, but it seems like you're not very good at having it." She told him, turning her head to look at him as he did the same.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Why?" She asked, offended.

"Because I care about yo-" he answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, because it was.

"Why? Why do you care about me?" She was snapping. Almost the same as the other night, but this was different, it was worse.

"I do not love you like the other me did. I have tried to remember everything, and it is not fair to you that you love me and I cannot feel the same." She lashed.

It was the first time Peter had seen either Gamora be so angry and upset. Even when she was mad when they had screwed up she'd always be over it in an hour or so.

All Peter did was wrap his arms around the ex-assassin.

"Stop pretending to care." She cried, hitting his chest, both of them were surprised that he wasn't reacting at all, nor noticing the pain.

"You can not-you should not-" she tried to tell him, she tried to get her words out, but instead she brome out into a sob, she fell to the floor with Peter, still engraved in his arms.

After a few hours of just holding each other and Gamora's sobs, (maybe Peter had to hold back some too but he'll never admit it).

Then she realized, everything that's happened in these past few months, every time she's felt, even a little bit happy, it's because of Peter.

"Peter?" She sniffed.

"Hm?" He hummed in response.

"Nothing." She brushed it off.

She didn't know what caused it, but maybe, the most painful memory from her other self was flowing into her mind.

She was frozen in fear.

"Gamora?" Peter removed her arms, noticing the fear on her face, and her frozen body.

Soul Stone.

"Gamora are you okay?"

Vormir.

"Please answer me."

Thanos.

Peter tried to help her up, but it was as if she was glued to the ground, Peter was terrified he had lost her, again.

Love.

This memory was scarring. This time, she wanted it to go away, she wanted it to escape. She didn't think it was this time, it was lasting way longer than the others.

Sacrifice.

She wanted to run, to move, to scream. She felt Peter try to help her up but she was stuck. Now she felt like she was falling.

Falling.

She could closed her eyes, and she guesses that's better than nothing, she closed her eyes bracing herself for the immense pain to come.

Death.

Her back, her head, her legs, her arms, felt broken. She was able to move now, she clutched her head, hissing at the pain of her arm movement. The memory kept replaying in her head like a song.

She finally gathered the strength to loom uo at Peter, who had a scared look on his face, she mimicked it.

"Peter?" She asked softly.

"I remember something."

Peter sat back down on the floor with her. "Good or bad?"

"Bad. Really bad." She answered honestly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was my death." She paused. "I mean I guess it makes sense that I would remember it first because it's the newest memory but-I don't know. I have been trying to bring back memories of me-us, but I just get glimpses and they go away instantly. This is one is sticking with me."

"You don't need to do that. It's okay that you-"

Gamora interrupted, "I guess there was one good thing."

Peter looked at her confused, what could be so good about your own death?

"The last thought I had before I went-It was-how much I loved you." She weakly smiled.

"Oh." Was all Peter said. He was happy, so happy, but now was not the time to show it.

Peter looked down, and then back up at Gamora, they were staring into each other's eyes.

As Gamora looked into Peter's ocean colored eyes, a flood of memories well...flooded in.

All the good, the bad, every. single. one. It was as if her whole life was playing like her head like a movie.

But of course, with memories, came feelings, the feelings of love for Peter returned.

"Peter." She smiled. "It's me. I'm back."

"What?"

"The memories came back. Do you remember the story of David Hasslehoff being your father?"

"That was my favorite story."

"That was your favorite story."

They said simultaneously.

"You're back." He said, failing to hold back his smile.

"I'm back." She repeated, with a joyful cry.


End file.
